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A letter to my sons: What I know now

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  I never planned to write something like this. But the more I reflect on my journey as a man and a father, the more I realize how much of what I’ve learned came far too late. This letter is for my sons—but I think a lot of fathers might see themselves in it too. If you’ve ever looked back and thought, “I should’ve done that differently,” this one’s for you. To my sons— If you ever read this, I hope you hear the truth in it more than anything else. This isn’t a letter to ask for forgiveness or to rewrite our history. It’s something I wish I had heard from my own father. It’s something I want you to know now—while there’s still time to make it count. I didn’t get it all right. In fact, I got a big part of it wrong. When you were younger, I believed my job was simple: work hard, provide, and protect. I went all in on that idea. I worked long hours, sacrificed time, and carried the weight of being a “good man” like it was the badge that proved I loved you. But what I see no...
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Strength

 Strength is defined as "the quality or state of being physically strong" or "the capacity of an object or substance to withstand great force or pressure.  What has always come to mind for me first was the physical form and stereotypical things.  Muscles, grit, discipline.  The things one could (wrongly) define as "manly strength".  Sometimes though, strength is simply the ability to handle what has come your way and persevere through another day. I've been thinking this would be a blog topic for a while now, but for some reason it just hadn't felt like the right time.  Aha moments...they are real.  It came to me today, what real strength is.  I thought I would be writing solely about my own journey through the physical and mental toughness transformation I have embarked on, but I now realize it is so much more than that.   This morning strength looked like a guy walking into the unknown, ready for whatever comes his way, because that is his ...
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The Walk

Let's talk about the walk.  What walk you ask? The infamous overnighter that some of you may remember me undertaking back in December.  I met a few people this past weekend that, after introductions, mentioned that they knew who I was. because they "watched me walk".  Watched me walk!?  Holy cow!  I'm still blown away by the number of people that followed me that night.  I find out about more and more, to this day. So what was this walk and where did it come from? Let's start with the what.  An overnight, continuous walk from the time the sun sets (just after 4pm in this case) until sunrise the next morning (7:02 am).  Sound crazy, or difficult?  I didn't see it that way.  I saw it as something I had to do, for me.  Why?  Let's get into that right after I explain where I got the idea.  I have been consuming a lot of personal development content including a few select podcasts.  One particular entrepreneur I follow tal...
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Time for change (Numero Uno)

Change.  For some it's a beautiful word.  It could mean a myriad of things and can be used in a myriad of ways.  A changing of the seasons, changing jobs, or some other personal change for the better are all wonderful things to think about.  Unless of course you are the type of person that is adverse to change.  Then change looks more like trouble, or instability.  Possibly even a trigger for anxiety. Although I know a handful of people that sadly live the latter, tonight I am going to focus on the beauty of change and how much I am able to see that I have changed in the last few years, for the better. Last week I struggled to come up with a topic for my blog.  So far the things I've written about have just come to me, like a literal "smack in the face".  I had nothing last week, but today I've made some time to collect my thoughts around just how much I have changed in a relatively short period of time, and what goes along with that. Why is this ...
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I've done cool shit, so what!

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 I've done some pretty cool shit in the last year.  So what!  What do I mean by that?  Let me explain. I sat down last week to write my blog post for the week.  I had thought I wanted to talk about 2023 in review basically.  Leaving the fire department, being my own hero by betting on myself, taking my health seriously, taking my family on a once in a lifetime vacation, and on and on... Let me know how you liked that one.  Can't find it to read it?  Yeah, I didn't even finish it, never mind publish it.  Why?  Honestly, I didn't feel good about it.  Again, you may ask why.  On one hand, I am super proud of everything I worked for and accomplished last year. To spend an entire month on the road with nothing to worry about other than to have an amazing time with my wife and boys. So cool! The feeling I got while writing it all down the way I did though, it made me feel like that old guy that still wears his high school letterman j...
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Who am I to tell you?

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 Let's talk struggle.  Not the "good for you" type of struggle like lifting heavy weights, learning how to do something difficult, or having a hard conversation.  I'm referring to the the kind of struggle that can keep you from not only doing things you need to do, but worse, things you want to do.  The kind of struggle, that at its worst could keep you from getting out of bed or force you to give up on something you've dreamed of. Imposter syndrome is defined as " t he persistent inability  to believe that one's success is deserved  or has been legitimately  achieved as a result of one's own efforts or skills".  Inability to believe actually seems like too nice a way to define this.  Debilitating and sometimes crippling seems a bit more accurate. Imposter syndrome was a prevalent topic in 2 of the groups I spend my time in this past week.  Selfishly it is comforting to know that I am not alone with this struggle, but at the sa...
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They're all gonna laugh at you!

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 If you're as old as I am, you read the title of this in Adam Sandler's "oh mom" voice, and if you have no idea what I'm talking about...YouTube.  Go ahead, I'll be here when you get back. This thought hit me like a ton of bricks while I was punishing myself on the stair stepper at the gym this morning.  I love and hate that thing all at the same time.  Anyway, I digress.  What got me thinking about this today?  The podcast I had going in my ear was a Q & A type and the question that got the wheels turning was around limiting self belief, where that comes from, and how to overcome it.   At this point the only thing I can say about overcoming it is do hard shit.  Do the thing you are telling yourself not to because you are afraid you won't be any good at it, or you're afraid "they're all gonna laugh at you".  Trust me, the roommate in your head telling you to keep to yourself is the biggest critic there is.  Once you decide to evict t...
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