They're all gonna laugh at you!

 If you're as old as I am, you read the title of this in Adam Sandler's "oh mom" voice, and if you have no idea what I'm talking about...YouTube.  Go ahead, I'll be here when you get back.

This thought hit me like a ton of bricks while I was punishing myself on the stair stepper at the gym this morning.  I love and hate that thing all at the same time.  Anyway, I digress.  What got me thinking about this today?  The podcast I had going in my ear was a Q & A type and the question that got the wheels turning was around limiting self belief, where that comes from, and how to overcome it.  

At this point the only thing I can say about overcoming it is do hard shit.  Do the thing you are telling yourself not to because you are afraid you won't be any good at it, or you're afraid "they're all gonna laugh at you".  Trust me, the roommate in your head telling you to keep to yourself is the biggest critic there is.  Once you decide to evict that roommate and put yourself out there, your real friends and family will appreciate you and support you, ask me how I know.

Like I said before, this just came to me this morning, so I haven't really processed the "where did this come from?".  What I can tell you is I've lived with a massively strong, very loud self limiting room mate in my head for as long as I can remember.  I know it started early on in my childhood, but to pinpoint the when?  I'll have to get back to you.  Was it instilled in me, just like that Sandler skit?  Maybe.  Did I get laughed at by other kids and that cause me to develop that mindset?  Anything is possible.  What I do know with certainty is I wish I found the courage to break free from that long before I did.

There is a saying out there "the windshield is larger than the rearview mirror for a reason".  That is both freeing and empowering if you take a minute to think on it.  Do I wish I could have come out of my shell sooner?  Yeah, I literally just said that!  The thing is, I didn't. I didn't change it in my teens, or twenties, or even thirties, and that's ok.  It has to be, because there isn't a damn thing I can do about it now.  All of the things that are my past are what got me here, to today.  Do they serve me for where I want to go?  Absolutely not.  When that reality hit me hard enough, I was finally able to draw a line in the sand and commit to doing the hard work within myself to make the necessary changes.  Drop the negative self talk. Push through the limiting self beliefs.  I wish I could explain to you how amazing it feels to drop that "weight", but the truth is, if you suffer from any of this, you'll have to commit to working on yourself just as I did, because no matter how well I explain it, you'll never understand the feeling until you live it.

That was a lot about the rearview, now for the windshield.  The future is bright in my eyes!  I have so many dreams and aspirations that I know I can and will attain now, so long as I continue doing the work. Will I get everything I want without getting laughed at, or knocked down?  I said I'm confident, not delusional.  The thing is, life is still coming at me, everyday. What I know for sure about the future is I will not fail!  How's that statement for overcoming limiting beliefs?  "But how can you be so sure you won't fail?"  Failure isn't when something doesn't go the way we wanted it to go, or losing something.  Failure only occurs when you quit!  I know life will deliver bumps and bruises to knock me down or laugh at me, but guess what.  I laughing too, and I'm getting back up and trying again.

I'm certain there is a lot more here I could unpack and dig into, but I'm not interested in writing novels here.  I want to keep these short and to the point so you'll keep coming back.  One thing I want to share is a book I found a couple years back now that helped me incredibly with this "inner roommate" I mentioned.  The Untethered Soul by Michael A. Singer.  Get it.  Read it.  Read it again, and then live it!  I owe a debt of gratitude to Steven Shinholser, a mentor of mine for turning me on to this book.  I'll never forget that moment he told me to open my Amazon account and give him my phone.  He pulled up the book and clicked the Buy Now button!  Can you believe that!?!  If you know him, the answer is yes.  He felt that strongly about the book and so do I.  It's not the easiest book to read, but it is so worth the investment.  You're worth the investment.  I now know what Steve knew.  I'm worth the investment.