The Walk

Let's talk about the walk.  What walk you ask? The infamous overnighter that some of you may remember me undertaking back in December.  I met a few people this past weekend that, after introductions, mentioned that they knew who I was. because they "watched me walk".  Watched me walk!?  Holy cow!  I'm still blown away by the number of people that followed me that night.  I find out about more and more, to this day.

So what was this walk and where did it come from? Let's start with the what.  An overnight, continuous walk from the time the sun sets (just after 4pm in this case) until sunrise the next morning (7:02 am).  Sound crazy, or difficult?  I didn't see it that way.  I saw it as something I had to do, for me.  Why?  Let's get into that right after I explain where I got the idea.  I have been consuming a lot of personal development content including a few select podcasts.  One particular entrepreneur I follow talked on one episode about his yearly ritual he lovingly branded "Suckfest".  He mentioned that he does this once a year, in the winter when the nights are longer, as a bit of a reset to prepare for the new year ahead.  I was immediately hooked on the idea of tackling it myself.  I made up my mind, it was going to happen.

Why the hell would I want to do that?  Honestly, my intention was to prove to myself I could handle the physical undertaking of walking what should work out to somewhere between 35 and 45 miles, depending upon the pace I could keep.  What I wasn't prepared for, besides the WICKED cramping, was the mental game.  I put zero thought into what spending 15 hours on the road, alone, would require in my head.  Turns out there were actually a handful of why's when it came to undertaking this, but the top of the list was definitely to prove to myself I could.

How far can I walk in 15 hours? Turns out I was able to walk 40.2 miles.  I felt great for the better portion of the time, but let me tell you what I learned about fueling your body. First and foremost I learned that my body is a lot like a car with a fuel tank.  When it's empty, it simply doesn't go. I found this out the hard way somewhere around 2 am.  What started with some minor leg cramping quickly escalated to barely having the ability to shuffle my feet.  Bad enough as it is, but add in the fact that I was more than a quarter mile from home and the ability to fuel my body.  Although this isn't the first point I realized how big of a mental challenge this was, it was the toughest mental challenge up until that time.  I could have called home and asked for a ride back.  My wife probably wouldn't have been happy about it, but I know she would have done it.  Instead I looked ahead, to the next telephone pole, then the next, and the next.  Shuffling slowly, one foot barely in front of the other.  I was determined and unwilling to give in.  Damn did I eat when I finally got home!  A couple of sandwiches, fruit, nuts and some other snacks.  I also collapsed on the kitchen floor and begged my wife to lean into my legs and stretch me out. I just remember how tight my muscles felt.  I had never felt like that before.  Nevertheless, I got up, and shuffled back out the door, not feeling a whole lot better.  I knew I didn't want to fail this.  I had to try to get back out there.  Luckily, within a span of 30 minutes I went from feeling like a dead man walking to feeling like a million bucks!  My body was finally processing the food and fueling my muscles.

Before that nasty wake up call at 2 am, I had an amazing aha moment around midnight.  Have you ever completed a marathon?  If you have, can you remember your first?  I imagine the answer will be yes.  At around 8 hours into that evening, I crossed the 26.2 mile mark.  At the time I realized I reached that milestone, I go so excited and invigorated!  Not in a million years would I have believed I could, never mind DID complete a marathon! Now, I don't want to compare myself to someone who runs marathons, because that is an entirely different deal.  I would say that running a marathon is a much more physical feat compared to walking one.  What I will agree with though is the thought that investing twice the amount of time as an average runner to complete the same marathon might just be more mentally challenging.  I hadn't thought of that until it was brought to my attention by a friend that has run the distance, more than once.  I still struggle to realize the level of mental fortitude that went into that first 8 hours, let alone the entire night.

One thing I prepared for ahead of the walk was a solid playlist.  I knew once it got dark, I'd be on my own.  I needed some good stuff to pump through my AirPods to keep me going...or did I?  Surprisingly enough, it turns out I did not.  When I first set out on this adventure, I had company.  My wife walked the first and fourth hour with me.  Those hours were significant for another reason as well, which I'll get into in a just a bit.  She and I had normal conversations during our time on foot together, and in between those first two laps, I listened to exactly one 30 minute podcast.  30 minutes of content in 15 hours, that's it.  Other than that, and the 3 hours I walked with Courtney (she also got up and walked the last hour with me), I was alone with my thoughts.  The only other reason I escaped my own head was to check in on Luke. Wait, Luke!?  Who the H-E-double hockey stick is Luke!? He's a badass, real talk.  He's the one and only guy that stepped up to the plate when I said I was going to do this that jumped on board and committed to it as well, right out of the gate.  He never wavered, he just did the thing, 1,300 miles away in Wisconsin.  Thanks Luke, you're a stud.  Now, back to all the content I downloaded in preparation for this crazy night. After that first podcast, something spoke to me and said, just walk.  Just be with your thoughts and move your body.  Forget about the books, podcasts, and music.  You don't need it.  Truth was, I didn't need it.  That was the first time I can remember in my life that I spent that amount of time with my thoughts.  WOW!  Who knew I could be so profound, serious, relaxed, and witty!?  My "inner roommate" and I had quite the dialog that night.

So, that first and fourth hour...let's get back to that.  What else, aside from having an awesome companion to pound the pavement with, made those hours significant?  My 40 pound weight vest, that's what.  You heard that right, 40 pounds.  I wore that thing for 4 of the 15 hours on the road.  Why?  75 hard, that's why.  If you've been following my blog, you should have an idea of what 75 hard is.  I started phase 3 of the program December 2nd.  I decided that every outdoor cardio workout for phase 3 would be a ruck with the weight vest rather than just a walk.  I wasn't going back on that commitment I made to myself.  I suppose technically I could have worn it once the first day, and once the second day to keep that commitment, but I said EVERY outdoor workout would include the vest, so I stuck to it.  The rules say at least 1 of the 2 daily workouts has to be outside, and that there needs to be 3 hours between workouts.  It doesn't say they both can't be outside.  So with leaving the indoor weightlifting off the table for the duration of these two days, I added the vest to both workouts for each day.  Done, no question if I kept my commitment to myself or not.

5 am...no more vest.  Thank GOD!  At this point, I'm exhausted but I knew I'd make it through, or would I?  Shortly thereafter the cramping began to come back. Son-of-a-Bitch!  What now!?  I've been eating and drinking right along now since the 2 am crash.  Eat more!  That's what I came up with when the panic set in.  I did not want to end up in the same shape I was in last time.  I'm not sure I'd have it in me to regroup a second time.  Someone smarter than me will have to explain this part, but it didn't seem to matter what type or volume of fuel I threw in the hopper at this point.  I was able to keep the full body lockdown at bay, but I couldn't reverse it to get back to feeling amazing.  In hindsight, why did I think I could?  I've been going nonstop for 13 hours with no sleep!

6 am...C'mon Courtney, let's go!  I'll use the exclamation point here, but in reality there was no exclamation by this time.  I was getting to the point where I knew I wouldn't fail, but I also knew I wouldn't finish with any left over energy in the tank.  Remember Luke?  This is where I tell the tale of the one thing I wish I could have done differently.  There was a point in the night I said to Courtney I was going to finish with Luke.  I told Bob the same thing.  (Don't scroll back up, I haven't introduced you to Bob yet.  You're not going crazy.) Well, Bob and I told Luke the plan was to finish with him, at sunrise Central Time, an entire hour after I needed to get to.  That is where I "failed" the night.  By 6:30 I decided I would stay close to home so that when sunrise came, I wouldn't have to walk for any length of time more than necessary to get back.  I couldn't do it anymore.  I couldn't reverse the exhaustion my body was feeling.  I couldn't keep the commitment to Luke.  I'm pretty sure I was more upset about it than he was, or at least he did a good job making me feel that way.

7:04...officially sunrise!  I was strategically less than 1/10th of a mile from the house.  The end was in sight!  Good lord!  I cannot remember a time I wanted to be off of my feet so badly.  Literally everything hurt.  I was DONE!  I got to the stairs at the side door.  I stopped my watch from recording miles and time, I grabbed my phone to record a video, and I sobbed like a baby!  Holy shit, I did it!  I actually did it.  40.2 miles in 15 hours.  By far the most strenuous thing I've ever undertaken and completed.  Physically exhausted, mentally depleted it was time for a shower and bed.  The worst part of the whole thing?  Stopping.  Holy hell did I lock up quick!  My legs clocked out at the bottom of those stairs in the driveway.  I owe my wife a debt of gratitude for the help that morning with getting into the house, removing the shoes from my very blistered feet, and literally lifting my legs over the side of the tub because I could not. (If only I knew a guy that could have converted that tub to a custom walk-in shower, that part of the job would have been so much easier!). I told Courtney in the days leading up to this that I would sleep until "noonish" and then get along with my to do list.  LMAO!  Noonish quickly turned into 4:30 PM before I even opened my eyes for the first time.  I didn't touch that to do list for 2 damn days!  The recovery in the days that followed was no joke.  It took me damn near a full week before I could walk normal with no pain.  It took weeks for the final blisters to pop and heal.  It took until just a few weeks ago for the nails on my little toes to start growing back.  Yup, lost toe nails. Nothing in comparison to the skin on those toes becoming completely degloved (a term my first responder friends will recognize.  If the remainder of you need to google it, be warned.  If you're squeamish, don't do it!).

What about Bob though!?  Friggin Bob. Another badass, brother-from-another-mother.  How does Bob fit into this?  Bob didn't start with Luke and I because he had a previous Christmas party commitment (so he tells us! lol).  Bob jumped in late in the night, way up in Maine, and walked with us to the end.  I want to list his time and mile stats here, but I'm afraid I'll get it wrong and do him an injustice.  Believe me when I say he kicked ass, for an old dude! (sorry Bob, I couldn't help myself!  Love ya brother!)

Where does this leave me?  A whole shit-ton more confident in knowing that I can do anything I put my mind to.  Hell, I prove it to myself again and again every time I sit here and pound out another blog.  The level of self-confidence I walked away from this with is truly immeasurable.  I believed I could, and I did, the end.  Will I do it again?  You bet I will!  I'm planning to make it my own thing this year.  I might step it up a bit.  How?  I'm looking at the winter solstice for example.  The longest night of the year.  How much more than 15 hours?  I'm not prepared to know that information currently, but even if it isn't any longer, at least I know it's the longest it can be.  Why?  Why not.  Anything worth doing is worth doing all the way.  Find something you'd like to do.  You'll know you found the right thing when it scares you a little.  When you find it, do that thing, all the way.