Strength

 Strength is defined as "the quality or state of being physically strong" or "the capacity of an object or substance to withstand great force or pressure.  What has always come to mind for me first was the physical form and stereotypical things.  Muscles, grit, discipline.  The things one could (wrongly) define as "manly strength".  Sometimes though, strength is simply the ability to handle what has come your way and persevere through another day.

I've been thinking this would be a blog topic for a while now, but for some reason it just hadn't felt like the right time.  Aha moments...they are real.  It came to me today, what real strength is.  I thought I would be writing solely about my own journey through the physical and mental toughness transformation I have embarked on, but I now realize it is so much more than that.   This morning strength looked like a guy walking into the unknown, ready for whatever comes his way, because that is his only option.

Dana-Farber Cancer Institute is a bustling place I would rather have never visited, yet here I am.  Mom and I are accompanying dad on his journey today.  This is my first time coming along, so the curiosity of the unknown was real.  What will happen?  What news will we get?  Those along with so many other thoughts and questions that could paralyze a person while waiting for answers, if you let them.  What I saw was a man unwilling to allow that paralysis to win.  On the outside "it is what it is".  Look a little deeper and you'll see some concern for sure, coupled with a "let's get this done!" attitude.  Strength, pure and simple.

It really is unbelievable what came back to me in such a rush of emotion this morning.  I remember being "knee-high to a grasshopper", standing in the kitchen of my childhood home when dad would come home from a long day at work.  I remember thinking his head almost rubbed the ceiling!  Perspective can be humorous. In my eyes he was ten feet tall and bulletproof.  I saw that again today.  A legend among men to my inner child. A legend among men to me now. A flood of emotions and memories have made their way through my mind in such short order today.  It truly is unreal! Thoughts on so many experiences as a child and so many life lessons learned early on have been racing through my brain as I sit here conversing, writing, and thinking.

I have found and follow a lot of strong role-model types since I made the decision to take care and control of my destiny.  Entrepreneurs, coaches, athletes...someone from just about every genre you can think of related to the personal development space.  I have learned a lot in the last year.  I learned a lot today.  Strength doesn't have to come in the buff, hard package I generally thought of first. Today I see strength all around me, served up in older, more frail looking physical forms.  All handling their journey, with their own version of what strength looks like.  How many of these folks knew they were as strong as they are?  Did they understand their strength before they found their current struggle, or have they unlocked it simply out of necessity?

These questions have fueled me for some time now, and I'm just now realizing the severity of what unpacking them and looking for answers could mean for the future.  I can't tell you how many of these folks here today knew the strength they had within them before they began this journey they are currently on.  I can tell you I am unwilling to wait on the sidelines for a life altering diagnosis to tell me what my inner strength looks like.  

I may need a follow up to this once I have taken the necessary time to find the answers I'm looking for within myself.  I'm ok with that.  I know that there is probably a better way to close this out than just ending the story with the last paragraph, but I really do believe I need to take the time to properly think on this.  Instead I'll end it with this: don't wait to find your strength.  We all have it within us, it just may look different for each and every one of us.  I did touch on what I'll call "vanity strength".  That shit is cool!  I'm personally working on that too, but what I realized today is that the strength I really needed to share about comes from within.  It needed to be today to get this out the way I had to.  Thanks dad, for showing me the way.  I love you.