Time for change (Numero Uno)

Change.  For some it's a beautiful word.  It could mean a myriad of things and can be used in a myriad of ways.  A changing of the seasons, changing jobs, or some other personal change for the better are all wonderful things to think about.  Unless of course you are the type of person that is adverse to change.  Then change looks more like trouble, or instability.  Possibly even a trigger for anxiety.

Although I know a handful of people that sadly live the latter, tonight I am going to focus on the beauty of change and how much I am able to see that I have changed in the last few years, for the better.

Last week I struggled to come up with a topic for my blog.  So far the things I've written about have just come to me, like a literal "smack in the face".  I had nothing last week, but today I've made some time to collect my thoughts around just how much I have changed in a relatively short period of time, and what goes along with that.

Why is this what came to me today?  Well, while I had some time to just be with my thoughts, I realized just how different things look, even from last year, never mind the years previous.  St. Patricks' Day.  A day full of fun, friends, laughter, and booze.  For a lot of years, that's exactly what it was.  It didn't matter if it fell on a Saturday, Sunday or Wednesday, the plan was simple.  No work, all play, deal with the headache tomorrow.  

What a drastic difference this year brought on. The biggest difference?  No partying!  Now before you go and wonder what the hell is wrong with me, let me explain.  It starts with the commitment I made to myself at the start of the year.  No alcohol for 2024.  That's right, zero.  Why?  Because I realized while I was on the Live Hard program last year and couldn't have it, I became less and less interested in it number one.  Also, I know where I want to go and what I want to do, and I know alcohol won't help me get there.  It just doesn't serve me at this stage in my life, and I'm quite alright with that.

Did I stay home so that I wouldn't be tempted to break that commitment?  Nope.  Breaking that commitment isn't even a minor concern at this point.  I am committed to my goals, plain and simple.  If you're looking for an explanation I'll tell you I stayed home because although there are plenty of friends I missed seeing today, spending time with my family first and foremost was the top of the list.  Besides the Sunday routine that we have developed this year, I also had work to do to keep my business going, and prepare for the week ahead.  I chose the life of entrepreneur,  I understand the sacrifices that come with being great, and I am willing to delay gratification to get the work done.

I'm getting off course with what this has to do with change.  Let's focus on today, and all the festivities that go along with it.  At the end of 2022 I knew I wanted to complete 75 Hard.  A lot of you have heard me talk about that, and probably have an idea of what it is by now.  The reason I decided to start 75 Hard when I did was the fact that day 75 was March 16th.  That meant I could party with all my Irish and Irish-ish friends.  Perfect.  Funny thing is, by the time I got to the 17th last year, I was already starting to change my mindset about my relationship with alcohol in particular.  I did end up having 2 drinks last year before the day was over, but the change was in motion.  I didn't have a sip until late afternoon, whereas in years past I was ready to get started by mid morning!  Now don't get me wrong, I DO NOT have a problem with alcohol.  I did however like to let loose and have a great time when I knew that was the plan, and at the time, that all revolved around having a beer in my hand.  I will say, I still love to go out and have fun, probably even more now, because I am so much more comfortable in my own skin and do not need the alcohol as a social lubricant (LOOK MA! Another CHANGE!)

Looking at the rest of the year at it progressed, the Live Hard program had me bound to more and more time where alcohol was off limits.  Hard?  Nah!  In hindsight, it was one of the easiest tasks to complete all year!  All that work I put in last year has gotten me to where I am today.  December 1, 2023 was the last day I had a drink while out to dinner with friends.  I don't even know why I had it to be honest, other than I knew that would be it for the rest of the year, as I had to start the final phase of the program the next day. 

The final 30 days of that program has quickly turned into 107 days since that last drink, and I couldn't be more happy about that!  I am constantly noticing benefits that can only exist because I stopped drinking, because nothing else has dramatically changed in recent history.  I'm getting noticeably leaner.  I've got more clarity. I have less aches and pains, and just all around feel better.  When I told a friend of mine I was considering leaving it behind for the year, he immediately had a boat load of excuses why I shouldn't, or why I should at least give myself the go ahead once a month or so.  I knew then that I was in a different place than even a previous version of myself had been, because I couldn't fathom the thought of building in a few "cheat days".  I made up my mind, and that was it.  Again, I was able to recognize, I've changed.

I've actually heard from and know a lot of people that have also decided to get alcohol out of their lives.  Some had to, others wanted to.  Either way, we all chose to.  I hear some of those that wanted to say they just aren't drinking "right now", meaning they are certain they haven't given it up forever.  Do I fall in that camp?  I think I might if I'm being honest.  I know it does not serve me now, and therefore I want nothing to do with it.  I also enjoy a nice bourbon, or a great glass of red wine every now and again, so who knows.  I do know it is not a part of my life for know, and that's a change I'm proud of.

When I opened my computer tonight and started writing, my intention was not to focus on alcohol, but instead to dive in to so many of the things I've enjoyed changing lately.  As I said in the beginning, these things just flow out of me.  So when I realized I was getting specific, I went back and retitled this Numero Uno, leaving me the option to talk change again in the future. Clearly, this change has made a significant impact on me, not only physically, but mentally too.

I also want to say that I realize this can be a touchy subject for some.  I've seen plenty of family members, friends and acquaintances struggle with alcoholism, never mind random patients back in the day.  In no way am I saying this is an easy change to make and everyone should be able to just do it.  What I am saying is it ended up being easier for me than I ever thought it would be once I decided to stay disciplined and make the change.  If this is something you'd like to change, but feel you can't...reach out.  I want to help.  If I can't help you change, I can at least help you find the right people to talk to.

Well, with all that said, Happy St Pats my friends!  To my Irish-ish crew, I look forward to hanging out soon, and to the crew at the fire hall, I missed ya, and I missed the band tremendously!  I'll catch you at the next one!